


The Only World I have is You

by thatcomicfan



Category: Guardians of the Galaxy (Movies), Marvel Cinematic Universe, The Avengers (Marvel Movies)
Genre: Angst, Canon Compliant, F/M, Feels, Infinity Stone Soul World (Marvel), Soul Stone (Marvel)
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-08-21
Updated: 2018-08-21
Packaged: 2019-06-30 17:12:49
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,974
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15756174
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/thatcomicfan/pseuds/thatcomicfan
Summary: When Gamora opened her eyes for the first time, all she saw were golden and orange colors dancing around her. It took a little time to remember how she ended up here. But once she did, she let out a wince from the pain that she didn't feel, only remembered. She also remembered falling. It felt like an endless pit. Like she would never stop, never reach the bottom. But thankfully, she did and the absence of everything was a welcoming respite from the pain in her body.This is just an attempt to show Gamora's thoughts as she explores the Soul World. There are a lot of assumptions made here about how the Soul world works but for most part it is canon compliant.





	The Only World I have is You

When Gamora opened her eyes for the first time, all she saw were golden and orange colors dancing around her. It took her a little time to remember how she ended up here. But once she did, she let out a wince from the pain that she didn't feel, only remembered. She also remembered falling. It felt like an endless pit. Like she would never stop, never reach the bottom. But thankfully, she did and the absence of everything was a welcoming respite from the pain in her body. But now she was conscious. The pain was gone, at least the physical one.  
  
It took a little effort, but she got up on her two feet, and began walking. The thought of finding a way out of this place, back to her people became a driving force. She didn't feel tired, her legs didn't ache. But her eyes did. The orange hue didn't feel soothing to her. She walked for miles, sometimes changing her direction but there was nothing. No one. She was alone. Absolutely alone. Frustration caused her to fall on her knees and her palms landed flat on the ground. She gripped the golden sand in her hands only for it to escape the gaps between her fingers. She felt helpless, the sand symbolising the hope as it left her soul.  
  
The inability to feel fatigue wasn't a gift as she had thought earlier. Because earlier she had a purpose. A goal. A destination. Now there was nothing but an endless desert and above it, an orange sky. And although, she didn't feel exhausted in the least, sleep came easy. So she lied down where she had fallen and closed her eyes. The realization that she was in the soul dimension had dawned upon her at some point during her fruitless stroll. But a small part of her, the part that had fallen in love with Peter, was too hopeful to accept it.  
  
The second time, she opened her eyes to her entire world shaking violently. And even though she knew she was dead, that the quaking sand could do nothing to harm her, the instincts drilled into her all her life made her run. Her legs carried her far from where she had taken shelter and she only stopped when the world did. The panic in her chest settled and she curled into herself, letting the tears spill freely. It didn't take a genius to realize what had transpired. Thanos had done what he wanted. He had fulfilled his destiny. She knew that billions and billions of souls were lost but she didn't know who they were. She was after all, neither a guest nor the master of the soul dimension. She was just a prisoner here.  
  
Her heart plummeted when she felt someone behind her. The familiar footfalls making her hair stand on end. And then the gravelly voice called her, "Little one?"  
  
He shouldn't be here, he couldn't be here or had the stones played their final card and turned against him? She didn't know. When she turned around to face the creature that liked to call himself her father, she wasn't surprised to see acute pain in his eyes. His tears, his pain meant nothing to her. Not anymore. It might have meant something on Vormir, but a lot had happened since then.  
  
Gamora hadn't realized till then that she was back on her own planet, in the same place where he had taught her the importance of balance as the hue around her remained golden. "Did you do it?" She asked him, a little surprised that she sounded like her younger self. She saw the way he looked at her. The image must be breaking his heart too, she realized. But she was not the one doing it. She didn't want to appear like that in front of him ever again. So small and vulnerable. So impressionable.  
  
He lowered his head, but she was sure it couldn't be shame that he felt. "Yes."  
  
Yes, he did it. He wiped off half the universe and so many more in the process of retrieving the stones. Gamora didn't feel anything on hearing his reply, having guessed it already. But now that it was confirmed, she knew that it was over. This war that she had been fighting for ages was over. She had lost but she didn't want to fight anymore. After all, there was nothing left to fight for. She wondered briefly, if Thanos felt even a fraction of the pain that he had subjected everyone else to. "What did it cost?" His reply wasn't what she thought it would be.  
  
"Everything."  
  
Gamora felt tears sting her eyes again. But she had resolved to not weep in front of him. She could only hope that he wouldn't be here in the soul world for long because that would turn this place into her own personal hell. And when he disappeared, she didn't know why her heart clenched or why she wanted to scream till her throat burned. She had wasted tears on him in Knowhere, something she didn't think he deserved. And yet here she was, curled in a fetal position, back in her older self now, trying to muffle her sobs with her hand.  
  
She didn't know how long she stayed there, it could have been a few hours or it could have been a couple days. There was no day or night in the soul world. Only an orange tinted sky, like a sun that was perpetually setting. She didn't know it was possible to feel groggy, after all she was dead. But she rubbed her eyes with her fingers after dusting them on her leather pants to get rid of the sand sticking to her skin.  
  
Straightening her back, she rose gingerly on her feet. There was something far away in the desert. She found herself walking at a leisurely pace in its direction. Her eyes widened when she was close enough to recognize it. _The Milano. Her home._  
  
It must be a cruel joke, she thought. The soul stone must have a wicked sense of humour. To show her an image of her previous home, the only place that made her feel safe and accepted. She remembered the first time she had been inside. She loathed it. She even called it filthy. But as time passed, her feelings regarding the ship changed. She could not pin point the exact moment when she began to feel like she belonged on the ship but maybe it had started when Peter had almost died to save her life. He had gone ahead and ruined the moment as he babbled on about being a hero. But warmth had spread in her chest all the same.  
  
Hesitating a bit, she entered the vessel. She reached out with her fingers towards the seat that Peter tended to choose. Her emerald skin came in contact with the material and she released a deep sigh. She had to struggle to control her breathing. Waves of nostalgia hit her, one after another. Her home, her Peter. Her love. She had lost him and he had lost her. And they had lost so much time dancing around their feelings. Getting closer but never quite reaching there. Gamora looked around, recognition shining in her eyes. She knew it was all projected by the soul stone itself, that the ship was not really here. But being inside what she knew was just an image of the Milano soothed the pain in her chest. The only thing that was missing was the smell that she had come to associate with it and the constant music that Peter liked to play. She had to say, she enjoyed the melodies a lot.  
  
Her mind drifted to her team that had started to feel more like her family. She thought of Mantis first. The newest addition to the team. A sweet person, although her powers made Gamora a little apprehensive of the woman in the beginning. But she had gradually grown on her to the point where her safety became important to Gamora.  
  
Then there was Rocket. Very short tempered and very smart too. And of course Drax, who was also very short tempered but not very smart. They had become somewhat like brothers to her. Annoying as hell but she loved them to pieces.  
  
Groot was the closest to a child she could ever think of having. His shenanigans never failed to amuse her. Whenever he looked at her with twinkle in his eyes, a wave of calm and love would wash over her, her feelings bordering on being motherly.  
  
And then there was Peter. The man she had fallen in love with no matter how much she had tried not to. She wished she had told him sooner. That they had more time and death had not been the motivation for her to finally confess the truth. She knew that she had loved him for a long time but had always kept her emotions at bay, never feeling that she deserved any kind of happiness. She was the Mad Titan's favourite daughter, after all.  
  
His first meeting with her had been the most unromantic. She was there to take the orb from him while he had tried unsuccessfully to flirt with her. It was obvious to her even then, how attractive he was. He was well-built, but she figured that came with being a Ravager. But of course, she had not expected him to give her such a good fight on Nova. She was after all, a ruthless fighter. She remembered straddling his hips with her body, even though her intentions were more hostile than sexual.  
  
Gamora wondered then, if she had always known how special he was. Not really. In fact, she had thought of him as nothing but a fool when she had first seen him. A handsome fool nonetheless. But soon, she had come to describe him as childish and then resilient when he had touched the power stone for far longer than any Terran should have been able to. But the fact that he was pretty special had made itself clear to her when she had seen his face while wearing his breathing apparatus as they got beamed up towards Yondu's ship.  
  
But he was still childish and she realized he would always be that way. She thought of the time they had found an unexpected ally in Thor, the God of Thunder. She hadn't meant to make Peter jealous then, but she'd be lying if she said that she didn't like the fact that he was. There had been no attraction towards Thor, not from her side. She was only fascinated by his strength, but then she had always been drawn to power. Peter's jealousy would have amused her even, if not for the threat of Thanos's madness looming over their heads. She should have told Peter there and then, that he had no reason to be envious. She had eyes for him, only for him.  
  
Gamora opened her eyes. She hadn't realized that she had closed them in the first place. She found herself lying on the floor of the Milano. To her surprise, all she felt was peace and content. She had come to terms with her situation. It was strange, not feeling the need to go back to the real world. But her heart told her that the world she was used to was gone. And that the new world had nothing for her. She turned her face and saw Peter lying on the floor, smiling at her. She knew that he too wasn't real. But she grasped his hand in hers anyway and closed her eyes as a familiar song began playing in the background. This was her world. 

**Author's Note:**

> Thanks for reading. And I would love some feedback. It's always good to hear from you guys.


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